Christmas gift: Healed relationships
My wife and I were recently discussing a relationship I have, barely, with somebody I would like to be closer with. Since I felt he hadn't pursued spending time with me (I feel I'm usually the one who initiates communication and plans to get together), I decided to let it remain at the status quo. After all, I thought, why bother? Does he feel that things are fine the way they are? Maybe he's not aware of how I feel. But my wife is challenging me to not leave it at that. She suggested I wish him a Merry Christmas, and then see if he initiates something in the near future. It needs to be a two-way street.
Part of the reason I've balked at moving forward is because it's scary. Will he accuse me of putting him down, saying "So you think I don't care? How could you?" Will he say, "I don't know what you mean. Things are fine between us." Will the initial moments of communication be so awkward that I'll wonder if it's so much easier to give up and say, "Well, I tried, but that's just the way it is"?
I'm sure I could have done better in our relationship. We need to talk about it and find out where we are, why we are there, where we want to go, and how best to get there. If it's not meant to be, then that's how it will have to be. But I shouldn't leave so many questions hanging.
Initially, I was frustrated that my wife brought it up. I wanted her to commiserate with my pouting. But she has always been one who, though she loves me as I am, cares enough to want me to make the best out of life. She wants me to have the best relationships possible. I am a much better person because of her prayers, support, and encouragement. And tough love. Sometimes even us adults need tough love.
Please pray for me during this time, that I will have the words to say, the proper timing, and the love and courage with which to say them. And if you are in a similar situation, let me know and I'll pray for you too.